Krispy Kreme - Off the Menu
At the risk of compromising my on-going, clandestine (klandestine?) Krispy Kreme operation, after reading recent odes to the Original Glazed by both Clotilde, on Chocolate & Zucchini, and Adam, The Amateur Gourmet, I'm compelled to divulge my Krispy Kreme secret - I order off the menu. How? Why? The "how" might be complicated - I hear it's actually forbidden in some locations. It may require targeting a susceptible doughnut operative - or slowly developing a relationship of trust. And why? Because - as always - I'm testing the boundaries of gastronomy it's fun and it tastes and feels really good.
Here's what I do. First, I only go to Krispy Kreme when the Hot Light is on - never when it's not. There are too many calories in play to waste them on a cold Original Glazed. Then, I park the car - yes, I actually walk inside - I know that not going through a drive-thru is borderline un-American, but yes - I repeat - I park the car and walk inside. Because I know it's inside where one receives a free, hot Krispy Kreme Original Glazed to sample. Like any good dealer, the first taste's free my friend. Next, I order - always at least one dozen - a few OG's, a couple of the extra-special-limited-edition-featured-doughnut - currently it's a visually appealing but rather disappointing Cookies & Cream - er, Kreme - and a few assorted to round out the dozen.
And then I veer off menu. It's then that I order unglazed Originals - with a cup of glaze on the side.
Occasionally I get the resistant counterperson - who whines, "We can't do that," typical troublesome FOH/Front Of the House style. But after a few words with the doughnut cook manning the doughnut-making machine - the laidback BOH/Back Of the House - I can see that spark - that common bond amongst all cooks - that says, "Yes, let us play with our food today."
At this moment they will skillfully pluck a few unglazed Originals off the conveyor belt - after the bath of hot oil and before the waterfall of glaze - with a long plastic stick deftly threading through the hole. They will then take a small coffee cup and carefully fill it with said warm white lavaflow.
I pay, rush over to the nearest table, open my treasure chest, then position the warm cup of glaze. I pull out a hot unglazed doughnut - tear off a morsel - dunk one curving end into the glistening glaze - raise my prize in honour to my Krispy Kreme kitchen comrade - usually watching curiously at this point from behind the glass wall - and then bite. I have all the warm sweet crisp softness of an Original Glazed - but to my own measured taste.
I do like the Original Glazed just fine - though I understand the critics who say it's too sweet. This offers perhaps an alternative. But for me it's a multi-sensory pleasure unto its own.
If you do attempt to order off the menu, I ask for your discretion. I know I took a chance in telling you this, but like all good food, it's best shared with friends.


