So sorry I disappeared. Not the best thing to do after the Food Blog Award I know. I've been in limbo thanks to French bureaucracy and it's been getting to me. After wrapping Tony's show I had what I thought was my last, rubber-stamp, French work visa appointment. I thought I'd finally get it, go home for Christmas, and maybe come back to work the 670 euro Les Ambassadeurs New Year's Eve dinner. Nope. At that last appointment the agent reviewing my dossier insisted that I'd lost some document. I don't lose documents. She tapped on her computer screen pointing out that her colleague noted that I'd been given some document and that if I didn't have it that I must have lost it. She actually sent me out into the hallway with a blank sheet of paper to write out that I'd lost the document. I was about to snap. Instead I wrote down that I did not have the document - but not that I'd lost it. I submitted this to her and she actually accepted it. She rescheduled me for yet another appointment - requiring even more documents - including a statement from the Crillon confirming that they still want to hire me. And here's where I think I started to shut down. What if they don't still want me? What if after almost a year my chef decides "Forget about it"? The last time I saw him was right before we started shooting Tony's show - when I thought that this last appointment was a done deal - and he was actually pleased that I'd finally start working. But what if this last delay is the last straw? I've tried to put those thoughts out of my head - with fluctuating results. My new appointment is now set for tomorrow. Tomorrow I'll either get my French work visa - to finally start working at Les Ambassadeurs - or I won't. If I don't get it they might torture me with yet another appointment - or they won't - they might just say no. And all that is still contigent on if my chef still wants me. And did I mention that there's a one month trial period? In France it's very difficult to fire someone so there's a trial period of usually one to three months. After that you're pretty much secure in your job - which explains a lot of the bureaucracy. So let's review - either I get my French work visa tomorrow - or I don't. If I do get it, then hopefully my chef still wants me. If he still wants me, then I have to survive the one month trial period. And if I survive the one month trial, that means I'll have job security - in a job with 14-plus-hour days. Why am I doing this? I've almost forgotten. But in the rush of service - when the adrenaline pumps so hard you actually shake after - then I remember. I remember that that's part of it. Wish me luck please - I'll need it any way it goes.